What’s Wrong with Resilience?
Many years ago, I did a morning practice in which I spoke out loud to myself, describing what it was like to live each day as my best and highest self.
At one point, I decided to add a new “way of being” into this practice, and I began telling myself, “I am unflappable.” I probably said those words each day for three, maybe four days in a row.
On the third or fourth day, I went out for a quick lunch, as I did each day. I was driving on a road with a 40-mph speed limit, and when I was just a few blocks from my house, a car darted out of a side street right in front of me. I slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting the car. And then this person proceeded to drive in front of me at about 25 mph — far slower than anyone else on the road.
I’m sure I let out a few choice words as I shook my head, changed lanes and drove around this person.
The next day, I did my morning practice and, once again, proclaimed that I was unflappable.
That day, I went to lunch. And again, driving down that same stretch of road, a different car ran a stop sign, darted out of a side street, cut me off and proceeded to drive way below the speed limit.
What?!
Getting the Message
Clearly, this was not a coincidence. In fact, this had never happened to me before. So I did a quick scan of what was “up” in my life. And I discovered that only one thing had changed: I had added the word “unflappable” to my morning practice!
The Universe was very lovingly giving me an opportunity to experience being unflappable — every single day!
Now, you might guess that the Universe was trying to show me I was “flappable,” not “unflappable.” And that is true.
But there was even more to the message, and it was a lot like: Be careful what you wish for!
Yes, I could attract opportunities to be unflappable all the time. Or … I could choose a much more joyful journey.
Needless to say, I immediately stopped proclaiming my unflappability. Instead, I chose “ease and flow.”
A Lot Like “Unflappable”
The angels brought up this story while I was working with a client today. She and I were feeling into a new story that she could tell herself about her body. She suggested: “My body is healthy and resilient.”
And immediately, the angels pointed out that resilient is just like unflappable!
Yes, resilience is a very important skill. And … we absolutely DON’T want to attract zillions of opportunities to experience our bodies as resilient!
So, if you’re currently focused on becoming more resilient — or unflappable, or on being the “calm in the storm” or the “eye of the hurricane” — you just might want to tweak that story a bit. ;)
